Dale Asis, President of the Bayanihan Foundation Worldwide, shares this personal essay on his challenges in giving. Many excerpts are from The Portable Carl Jung and the YouTube video below.

Dale Asis, President of the Bayanihan Foundation Worldwide 2025

The Idea Behind the Bayanihan Foundation

In 2009, I had the idea for the Bayanihan Foundation. I garnered the innate goodness of Filipinos in the US and abroad to help Filipinos at home but had no formal channel to direct their giving and intention to help. From this germ of an idea, the Bayanihan Foundation emerged.

In 2025, the spirit of Bayanihan (community giving) continues. So far, the Bayanihan Foundation has raised over $400,000 through individual donors. It has operated with few overhead costs: 97% of all donations go directly to long-term sustainable programs. In addition, I have given considerable support to my extended relatives during the COVID-19 pandemic years.

Plans for 2025 and beyond

For 2025 and beyond, the foundation plans to support the long-term legacy projects it has invested in for the last 10 years:

• Supporting educational and community projects in Giporlos, Samar, in honor of the late Evelyn Castillo, the foundation’s long-time Philippine Liaison
• Supporting educational projects in Iligan City, Mindanao, and elsewhere in the Philippines in honor of Dr. Vicente Saavedra and Mrs. Luz Saavedra, the foundation’s long-time supporters
• Supporting youth development and environmental sustainability projects in Cebu City, Cebu
• Supporting abandoned and neglected children at risk in General Santos City, Mindanao, and helping them build a future for themselves

The Bayanihan Foundation also plans to support local Filipino community organizations in the US that promote its vision of long-term sustainability and growth for Filipinos in the US and at home.

Personal Challenges I Recently Faced in Giving

The Bayanihan Foundation has had its share of challenges over the years. Many of the foundation’s bulwark supporters and donors have recently passed away, including Dr. Vicente and Mrs. Luz Saavedra, who have supported the foundation over the years. The Bayanihan Foundation’s Liaison, Evelyn Castillo, passed away; she had guided the foundation’s sustainable growth for the last 15 years. In 2024, my mother, Shirley Pintado, also passed away; she inspired me with her generosity and nurturing of community and family over the years. The loss of these giants that have guided the foundation has been earth-shattering. I felt the ground beneath me shook. I felt alone even though many people have supported and donated to the Bayanihan Foundation.

Then, the COVID-19 pandemic happened, and the foundation’s many giving programs in the Philippines had to be suspended.  So, I turned my giving to helping extended relatives in the Philippines ascend from poverty. However, over the three years of helping them, I felt increasingly ignored, and, at many times, they took the help I had given them for granted. I was helping an extended relative go to college, and they only contacted me if they needed some money. They didn’t even share a single photo of them on campus. I felt like their personal ATM. What happened?

I reflected deeply on my altruism and kindness. I asked these two key questions:

1. Can helping others be seen as a sign of weakness and losing respect for others?
2. Does giving to others have the negative effect of minimizing, exploiting, or belittling the giver?

I found that I was not respected. My altruism and kindness became a source of suffering rather than a fountain of joy. I was seen as weak and an opportunity to be taken advantage of.

Reflecting on the Wisdom of Carl Jung and His Thoughts on the Psychology of Giving

I recently stumbled upon the works of Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychologist who founded the school of analytical psychology. Jung’s words of wisdom were revealing to me. He says boundless kindness is seen as a weakness; humans are wired to test these boundaries. During the pandemic, I helped another extended relative get on their feet. I helped them pass their US Citizenship exam so they could have better job opportunities and take advantage of the social benefits that US citizenship affords. I helped them with the bureaucratic labyrinth and integrated them into US society.

However, they progressively stopped working throughout the three years of the pandemic.  In 2024, they stopped working, and I was left holding the bag and sending money back home to his relatives to keep them afloat. In 2025, I decided to stop sending the money since I felt they were taking advantage of my generosity. I learned from Jung and his psychological studies that this phenomenon is called the “benevolence exploitation effect.” The shadow of generosity is the risk of becoming invisible. I was being taken for granted, and I existed only as a function of giving, nothing more. Did my kindness and generosity through my giving create this phenomenon? I felt sad and betrayed. My generosity had devolved into something that hurt me.

I have often signaled to my extended family that I was ending my financial support. But when the time came, they were shocked that I did it. They were even mad. Jung says, “If people want to see the good, they will see it. If they want to see the bad, they will see it.” My altruism was seen as an inexhaustible resource, always available and possibly never-ending. I should have set my boundaries early on. I learned that giving without boundaries leads to a vicious cycle. I should have learned to say no more.

There are people out there who are not ready to receive altruism. I have seen this repeatedly with my philanthropy through the Bayanihan Foundation. They think I have an ulterior motive. They kept asking me if I was running for local office or doing all this giving to help a political candidate. They see this selfless giving as weak. Some people view kindness with suspicion, as if it always expects something in return. However, my kindness acts as a mirror and a reminder that there is another way other than quid pro quo. My altruism or my giving through the Bayanihan Foundation challenges this transactional worldview.

I have also been confronted with the idea that my generosity is naive or even seen as a threat. When Dr. Vicente and Mrs. Luz Saavedra, long-time supporters of the Bayanihan Foundation, helped me serve thousands of meals to Filipino Muslims during Eid-Al Fitr without asking for anything, many local officials and leaders felt threatened by our generosity. It challenged their worldview of calculation and self-interest. So, they disparaged our help in serving meals and providing sacks of rice to people experiencing poverty to keep their cynical worldview intact. Jung refers to the shadow as the hidden part of one’s psyche, the view that we refuse to accept about ourselves. My generosity challenges their shadow. This acceptance of altruism forms distrust and hostility. People scoff at altruism because they are not ready to accept it. They are not ready to see beyond the worldview of a dog-eat-dog world.

Jung says, “Kindness is not a weakness but a conscious choice.” 

People will continue to resist the idea that there is an alternative to the capitalistic, transactional nature and that I give because I want something in return. Many people adhere to the patterns of power and opportunism. However, my kindness forces hostility because it confronts their deep worldview of quid pro quo.

Giving With Measure is the Best Lesson

These significant and painful challenges made me pause and think – should I stop giving? Should I stop helping others? Should I succumb to the notion that I give because I want something in return? I resolve to keep giving and helping others because that’s who I am. It gives me joy to help others. However, my most significant reflection is that giving also has a cost. My needs must balance this, or I risk being taken for granted.

I should learn to set boundaries and clear expectations for my giving. I should have defined my limits and communicated them. Carl Jung says, “No one can have a clear conscience without knowing their shadow.” The shadow Jung refers to is the set of repressed impulses humans have.

If I want my kindness to be appreciated rather than exploited, I must learn to manage my giving wisely. My generosity should have boundaries, or my goodness will be the source of suffering. I learned this psychological lesson from Carl Jung in balancing light and shadow. I should always establish measures and boundaries. Generosity is valuable only when it is given with awareness. Giving with measure prevents my giving from being invisible to the receiver’s eyes.